Today was kind of scary and intense for me. We were discharged around lunchtime, leaving the parade of continual nurses who doted on me (at first hourly, then every four hours) to the big non-sanitized world out on our own. We headed back to our hotel in our rental car (the chariot for me who can barely walk still) with tons of bandages, medical supplies, girdles and such, not to mention a list of prescriptions to be picked up at the nearby Walgreens. (Luckily everything- including the hospital- is three blocks from the hotel. There’s a Walgreens, grocery stores, liquor store, and all kinds of restaurants etc. So it’s perfect.)
This evening Ned had to do all of the drain emptying and bandage changes by himself. (Yikes! Usually there’s a team of two nurses!) And he did this solo- somehow keeping a girdle and bra upright and holding multiple pads and tubes coming out of four holes in my body together, while taking everything apart to clean/swab, empty, re-pad, and re-pack them up into the kangaroo pouch, granny girdle and bra. This is crazy complicated and stressful stuff- especially your first time solo!- but he was amazing!! He had to measure and record the liquid that came out of each drain, swab each exit wound, and re-pad everything (while tucking the tubes all back into the girdle without kinking or tangling them). Oh, and then he administered and recorded all of my medications, and even gave me my first nightly shot of the drug to prevent blood clots. I had been dreading this, and was SO grateful he was game! (Just the idea of shooting myself in the belly with a needle again made me want to cry. I had to do that daily for a month after my hip surgery in 2006, and I cried and hated every minute of it. It truly sucked, and I am so grateful Ned has agreed to do it for me now.) And as it turns out, these shots hurt even worse than I remember- but luckily I can turn away, and (the best part) this time it’s only for seven days! Yay!
Ned truly deserves a medal, a vacation, and a (lot of!) beer. I can’t thank him enough! I tell you, this stuff is not for sissies! (And you must know I have been leaving some of the gross stuff out for you.;) I guess this is why the surgeon reminded us that I had the toughest surgical procedure that they offer, trying to reassure us that all is going even better than expected in an already high-stakes game. My wounds are truly beautiful (the craftsmanship is exceptional!), and I am recovering splendidly. But I still have pain along my long incision across my backside, as well as in spots along my front under my breasts at times, and on the sides where the exit wounds and drains are. This is to be expected– after all, it’s a very major surgery!!– but it’s beautiful and scary at the same time. Honestly I do have moments now and then when I wonder “What the hell am I doing?!” and “How the hell did I get here?!”.
Then Ned reassures me we got exactly what I want: the cancer is out and I’m not only intact but full-filled (!;) both physically and emotionally. 🙂 So we soldier on, one day at a time, and smile ‘cause we’re doin’ it, and it’s all going to be great! High five for all that! Let the countdown to full recovery and bikini shopping begin! (By the way, I have no idea how that smile emoji got there, nor do I know how to get rid of it. Could it be the drugs I’m weaning myself off of, but still on???)
