I never felt the lump. (And I’ve been detecting lumps since my early 20s!) I do self-exams on myself, but standing or lying (as shown in the diagram), with arm up over my head. No lump. At first anyway.
Hunched over, sitting on the toilet, however… I could later feel my lump: Outer, lower under side of right breast, deep and close to the chest wall. (Late) note to self: don’t just follow the diagram. Feel your breasts in all positions, from different angles.
A routine mammogram May 27, 2021 discovered an “area of suspicion”. About that same time, on June 8, 2021 (when the mammogram results were still pending), my OBGYN did a cursory breast exam, She felt no lump. Imaging required a follow-up diagnostic mammogram (which was still inconclusive) on June 17, but that was immediately followed by an ultrasound, which showed a specific lump and area of concern.
Now I have had many suspicious mammograms, so this was not new or overly concerning to me. (I have small, dense breasts, and have had lots of fiberadenomas removed and cycst watched over the years.) However, this time I knew something wasn’t right. The usually jovial gentleman doc who did my ultrasounds was all of a sudden serious. July 7, 2021 I had the biopsy at BCH, performed by three women I was told were the “A-Team” (which was true). And I learned that having someone press all their weight on your chest for 15 min (to stop the bleeding) actually feels good. I felt optimistic with these three women on my side.
That same day the results of the biopsy were made available on the hospital web portal, but MY “A team” advised me not to look until my doctor could explain it. So I didn’t look. I had a weekend ahead of me, and didn’t want to think about it. (Good thing, because I’m a ruminator with dark tendencies, and the news was bad, and in ALL CAPS.)
Around 10:00am on Monday, July 12th I got a call from my primary care physician (who never calls me) to tell me I had “invasive ductal carcinoma”. After I hung up– and got huge melting hugs from Ned– I collapsed to the floor crying, saying “I’m so sorry” to myself over and over.
It was a really bad day.