8/3 Had that Reiki appointment I was telling you about, where they balance your chakras or something. (I love this stuff, but don’t fully understand it!) This was the first time since I started this “cancer journey” that a practitioner actually listened to me really heard and saw me. She told me cancer takes 7-10 years to grow, and asked what I had been doing for the past 8 years? (!!! Well… as you may know, I have been taking care of my mother who has Alzheimers. Everything came into focus all of a sudden. Punto e basta. Then I ran into the nurse navigator outside of my Reiki appt. and she asked me if I had heard back from scheduling. I said no, and she said to let her know if the next day I still hadn’t heard anything. (Which I did three days later on 8/6, but still heard nothing. I was getting more and more frustrated, and afraid “to bother” anyone about scheduling the damn appointment…)
8/11 I attended my first breast cancer support group virtually, and it was sort of scary. I loved hearing from these other women, and feeling their understanding and support, but it felt a little too orchestrated. When I hung up the call I was not empowered, but even more scared of what lay ahead.
8/13 Went in to check on my oncology appointments I had scheduled back in July, and it turns out someone had cancelled one of them without letting me know (b/c apparently you can’t meet w/ more than one in the same office). I don’t understand why they didn’t call me to clear that up?! They just decided (my fate) on their own! I tried to schedule again with that oncologist (thinking that would be my 1st choice), but there were no openings until 8/27. Late, but I took it. Then I was going to stop by the nurse navigator’s office, but my body just wouldn’t have it. A strong force made me keep walking, turning toward the exit of that building until I was outside and could cry openly. I was emotionally tortured and twisted. I needed desperately to get away from that place.
8/18 Met w/ surgeon #1 again, who said she’d try to have my surgery scheduled by the end of the week. Met w/ the scheduler in person finally, and she said she’d work on it.
8/20 – 8/26 Took a little vacation to Stinson Beach (California) and got some fresh sea air to clear my head. I was also in contact with a new nurse navigator at a new hospital, and she was reassuring me that her team of doctors could help me restart over. She was wonderful. The doctors sounded great, and so I committed and switched. (And it just so happens, during that time (on 8/23 to be exact) I got a couple of automated texts and emails regarding pre-registering for my upcoming surgery on 8/31/21(?!), but no time was specified. But I had already decided to switch. I was too traumatized by my experience not to. So I did.
8/24 I cancelled surgery at hospital #1, and made sure surgeon #1 knew. And I felt so much better.
8/30 I had my first appointment with my new nurse navigator and new surgeon, who were wonderful. So a frustrating month-and-a-half later, I had a new team of doctors, and I finally felt like I was in good hands.
